Be The Moon… Reflect The Son

Where You are going is where I want to be… June 28, 2008

Many of you are aware of what has transpired for me over the past month due to circumstances four years ago. Many may know that I have felt quite stagnant and hopeless in many ways… probably brought on by my blinders or possible denial of reality and definitely my lack of faith. But I have decided to step out and trust. The week leading up to that moment was brutal… I was a bawling idiot most of Sunday the 15th, those of you I saw Sunday morning knew something was up, those of you at Tara Leigh’s show may have heard her mention it… but I was brought to a point of no return… the point of wanting to just flee. Of course that would solve nothing, so here I am.

So, I put it all out on the table… wrote a letter that tore me to pieces as I admitted by defeat. Once I truly came to terms with my inadequacy and self-reliance, the moment I brought the letters to the mailbox a weight was lifted. I no longer had this burden on my shoulders… I gave it up… through no doing of my own. I knew that God would take care of it… I knew that even though all of my issues are not solved… He has them… and they are dissapating one by one. Ever since that Wednesday I have had this smile that I can not wipe off my face. I have noticed it there and thought about people I pass and wonder what they are thinking looking at me. And the coolest part… is that provisions have been made, and I have felt more alive than I have in years. cliche… maybe…