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Rearranged November 9, 2007

Posted by G in mindless ramblings, truth.

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about His will vs. our desires.  I’ve also thought about parts of my story that I haven’t thought about in years or just plain tried to erase from my memory.  I look back at where I’ve been and the person that I am now and I can really smile about it.  Last night I heard a song that brought me right back to where I was toward the end of creating one of these memories…

There was a point in my life where I “knew” I would be married to this guy… he was “the one” and he had our entire life planned before I even realized it.  He could be so loving and thoughtful, but over time he had me completely secluded from reality.  I came to a point where I realized that this was not what my future held and I needed to get out of it.  It took me over a month to get up the nerve to leave.  I actually told his mom that I was going to leave a couple weeks before I told him… man, I just remembered that!!  but finally the moment came and I did it and I never looked back.  The weight that was lifted off my shoulders was amazing, but I had to learn what it was to live again.  I praise God that He has a much better plan for me than I thought possible… and better than I still think is possible…

I’ve also thought about the circumstances that I have endured throughout my life.  I am not one to dwell on the pain… I’ve had things happen to me that runied my ability to trust and given me a fear that I am still trying to overcome, I’ve had my heart broken a few times (thank you God)… but throughout these things… I have learned that I must appreciate the things that God has given me.  I need to love others… even if it hurts.  I need to be obedient to God, even if it’s “not convenient”.  I need to overcome my lack of trust and fear because God did not create me to be that way.  He has given me the circumstances in my life in order to be a gift to others.  To relate to them in ways that someone else can not… which in turn will show His love to them.  Pain and trials are a gift from God.  To make us stronger and bring us closer to Him and others.  The circumstances may be painful and things that I would never desire… and then there may be things that I think would be perfect for me, but He knows better.

“Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.”
~James 2-4

“Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! In his great mercy he has given us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, and into an inheritance that can never perish, spoil or fade—kept in heaven for you, who through faith are shielded by God’s power until the coming of the salvation that is ready to be revealed in the last time. In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. These have come so that your faith—of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire—may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed. Though you have not seen him, you love him; and even though you do not see him now, you believe in him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy, for you are receiving the goal of your faith, the salvation of your souls.”
~1 Peter 3-9


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